A potential silver lining... maybe

I underwent a painful procedure today but the results were good. And, the procedure itself also yielded some potential answers.

I had a hysteroscope which was done to look for fibroids, scarring and PCOS. The first bit of good news is nothing was found - everything looks great!

But the difficulty in performing the procedure made the doctor consider that our infertility could be related to something entirely different.

If you are easily grossed out, no need to read further.
You've been warned.

The doctor was having a very hard time finding my cervix (this happens to me at nearly every gyno/OB exam). He had to use an extra long speculum and finally was able to get to it. It was so high in fact that he had to pull it down which was extremely uncomfortable. Then he had to dilate the cervix to thread in the rigid tube that would take the pictures.

Afterwards he said that it's not unusual to see women who've had c-sections (and I've had two) to have an unusually high cervix.

He speculated that the very high cervix position could be the cause of our infertility.

The bad news about this is it means conceiving naturally would be very difficult. But, I was expecting that anyway, just for different reasons.

The good news is this could well mean that a run-of-the-mill IUI would be successful. This is because with an IUI they put a catheter into the cervix and insert semen directly into the area where it's most likely to connect with an egg.

I got up early to go the Lab Corp to get Prolactin levels checked again, too.

Speaking of, I might as well get into that, too because it was very interesting (to me at least).

As reported yesterday, the first round of blood work showed high prolactin levels. He wanted to test that again because prolactin is best tested on a 12 hour fast first thing in the morning. My original blood work was not done under those conditions.

I took to the Google to research high prolactin and discovered at least one symptom that I do have; lactating breasts even when not pregnant. Nothing major and only when the breast is, well, squeezed.

I told the doctor and he checked to see if he could get my breast to lactate and it did. He had a eureeka! moment with that. He said this could well also be causing our fertility issues. Again, this is easily fixed with medication.

Tuesday we have our consultation to discuss all the test results and how to proceed.

All in all, I'm feeling much, much more positive about all this.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Well, darn

The trip to the RE today wasn't the very reassuring.

I really don't even want to write this but it's important that I do.

If you're not familiar with the TTC (trying to conceive) world, everything I say will bore you and probably make no sense.

After conceiving three times very rapidly and with no trouble, those days are officially behind us. Conceiving naturally is incredibly unlikely if these results are true.

AMH .28
FSH 10

Most everything else came back in normal range except for prolactin. That was too high but could end up being the bright spot. From what I understand, high prolactin can throw those other numbers out of whack and make them not reflect accurately.

I have to go back tomorrow AM to get blood drawn again to test prolactin. I have never wanted bad results so much!

If my prolactin does turn out to be too high, there is a simple and inexpensive medication that can correct that. And then, maybe we'd find out it was in fact masking true AMH and FSH results.

I was supposed to be getting the ultrasound to test for fibroids and PCOS (no symptoms, but just to rule it out) but there was trouble and I have to go back tomorrow to try again.

James also had to do another SA today but what I thought was our greatest concern is now suddenly the least of my worries.

On Tuesday we'll return for what I guess we'll call the official consultation. By that time he'll have all my results and James' results and we can discuss options.

However, when asked today, he did say IUI is not likely to be the best option for us. Unfortunately, that's the option we can afford.

So, we'll see.

Disappointing afternoon.

Acupuncture Day 2

I've decided to start taking my iPhone and headphones with me during my treatments because the canned "waves and seagulls" sound machine is dreadful.

Today I felt much more comfortable with the process and all in all, a decent experience. 

Monday will be my third treatment and I'm looking forward to it.

I have to thank so many people for coming to my blog today to read our story and also for sending me so many messages of support. It lifted my spirits so much to hear similar experiences and so very many success stories!

On another (but not entirely off topic) note I want to address something I've heard said to myself and others many times and even a thought I have had about others regarding having children.

 I'm going to start with my own misdeed on the topic:

There is a woman on one of the many forums I'm on who has four children and is trying for a fifth. Her struggle to conceive that fifth child is causing her a ton of grief. 

Of course I think to myself "sheesh, be happy with four! Why all this work for one more? Your cup runneth over lady!"

But the thing is, that's none of my business! It doesn't mean her struggle to get her 5th is any less upsetting than someone trying for their first.

I've had similar responses from people. "Well, at least you have one" or "if it never happens, you can be perfectly happy the way you are".

Well, this is only partially true. Ryan is our world and we are grateful for our son every single day. Yes, we will be a happy family no matter what because we ARE a happy family (most days!).

However, it absolutely does not mean that our longing for another child is somehow diminished. 

It does me a great disservice to assume my struggle is any less than someone who has no children, just as the struggle for that ladies fifth child is any less valid than mine for a second. 

"At least you already have one (or two, or three)" is insensitive and unfair, okay?

Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor

For at least six months I've been using the Clearblue Easy Advanced Digital Ovulation Tests. I can't tell you enough how much I love these OPK's.

But last week I received an email from Costco saying the Fertility Monitor was on sale (and deeply discounted) so I bought it.

You have to start using in days 1-5 of your period and I happened to be on Day 3 when it arrived in the mail.

Setting it up was a bit of a pain but really, that's my fault. I skimmed the directions and thought I understood. Once I thoroughly read the directions, it was a breeze.

It asked me to start inserting sticks on Day 7 which I thought was early, I tend to ovulate later in my cycle but I the instructions say it has to get to know your cycle so I follow the instructions, of course.

Today is Day 9 and it still has a "low" reading which is unsurprising. I rather feel like I'm going to waste ten sticks knowing full well I don't need to start testing until about Day 13 or 14 but okay, it serves a purpose.

The thing is, with the CBE Advanced now on the shelves, this seems like the exact same product in a less disposable form.

And to compare costs, the CBE Advanced can be bought on Amazon for about $38. The refills for the CBE FM are about the same (on walmart.com - much more expensive everywhere else). But with the CBE Advance, I get to choose when to test based on my own fertility signs which I have pretty much gotten down to within a day or two. With the monitor, you absolutely have to use 10 sticks every month (as I understand the instructions) so a box will last you three months.

I can make a CBE Advanced box of 20 tests last me four months and often even longer.

But the monitor is in my hands now and it came with 30 tests so I'm going to use it and simultaneously use my CBE Advanced OPK's and see if they match. A little experiment I suppose.

Will keep you posted as my month progresses.

The "four year update"

Well, yes. It has been over four years since I wrote a single word.

But, I've been busy. Give a girl a break!

Let's see...
Married? Check
Baby? Check
Another baby? Check with an *

So why am I revisiting this now?
It's because I need a place to vent my frustrations at the difficulties my family is now facing.

We very much want to be a two kid family and we've been trying for over a year with no luck. So, we've sought the help of a professional. Yep, we've started down the road of infertility treatments.

We're at the very, very beginning of it all. A gallon of blood was taken from me last week and more tests on James and I are set for this week.

Then on February 4th, we sit down with the RE and discuss the results and our options. I have no idea what he'll suggest but I'm guessing it will be to give IUI a go.

I can live with that and I hope it will work. In the mean time, I'm trying acupuncture treatments because many women have found success with it. So, I figured why not give it a try?

Whatever procedure the RE suggests, it won't begin until the end of February at the earliest so between now and then we'll continue to try the old fashion way and party like it's 1999 should it work.

So, I'm back to write about our navigation through the world of infertility treatments. I hope I have the strength to write honestly about the highs and the lows.

In the mean time, it would be great if you could cross your fingers/say a prayer/send good vibes... whatever you have.

Jessica

That sad little * up top is our son, Nathan, stillborn at the end of my pregnancy in 2012. And that's all I have to say about that.