Our Story 2009 to present

James and I got married August 8th, 2009. Roughly two weeks later we conceived our first son, Ryan.
Ryan was born May 5, 2010 and was in perfect health and condition.

I believe it was July 2010 (maybe August) that we discovered, shockingly, that I was pregnant again. The due date was April 2011. We were definitely not trying to get pregnant and had no plans to have kids that were 11 months apart! However, we figured that was what life handed us and we were pretty excited.

In September I had my second ultrasound and my doctor delivered the news that there was no heartbeat. After waiting a week we had a D&C. I cried that morning but the truth is, I had barely had time to get used to the idea before it was taken away. We had a newborn to take care of so we had to carry on and not dwell.

In October 2011 we made the decision to try again. In December 2011 I had another positive pregnancy test!

This pregnancy was a little more complicated as I had placenta previa but all-in-all, it was a pretty easy pregnancy. When we discovered we were having another boy we were thrilled! We chose to call him Nathan and that was that. We'd have two boys and that was enough.

That came crashing down on us in July 2012 when our son was stillborn. He came into this world weighing 4lbs 1oz (a good weight for his 32 weeks gestational age) and he was absolutely perfect. 
It was determined his death was probably an unspecified cord accident. 

The pain for both of us was unimaginable. 
This is as much as I am capable of writing about our son, Nathan.

In November 2012 we started to try again. I assumed, given my history, that it was another guaranteed thing.
After nearly a year of trying we decided to see a RE. My infertility is being attributed to my age (just turned 39 in May 2014) After multiple tests, it's determined my husbands sperm is super. So the problem is me.

3/8/2014 IUI #1 = BFN
4/5/2014 IUI #2 = BFP CP
6/28/2014 IUI #3 = BFN
7/26/2014 IUI #4 = BFN
8/21/2014 IUI #5 = BFN
10/2014 Natural BFP CP
11/2014 Natural BFP - Baby Girl born 7/29/15!

And now, we're officially done!


  1. I'm so sorry for your heart breaking loss. Reading this, I've got tears in my eyes. The journey you've been through.. my heart goes out to you. Wishing you all the best with IUI #3.

    1. Thank you Haisla, next one. I'm sure of it. :-)

  2. My heart goes out to you--you've been through a lot. Hoping IUI #3 brings you a sticky bean and smooth pregnancy! XOXO

    1. Thank you so much, MLACS! Fingers crossed!

  3. I hadn't had chance to read your full story until just now and I am so very, very sorry to read. You will meet Nathan again one day, when you are all together. In the meantime, I wish you all the best and can't wait to read about when you have your next child safely in your arms XOXO

    1. Thank you again, for the support you keep sending my way.
      I hope I've proved to be as helpful to you.

    2. Sorry, I've just seen this - you really have, thankyou!

  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. My daughter was born just shy of 32 weeks and 4lbs. I was so much in denial that I was in labour, or that anything would go wrong, or that she'd be anything but healthy and perfect in the end. I took it all for granted. Everything was OK in the end, she's a feisty and healthy first grader now, but I shouldn't take it for granted. My heart goes out to you.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad your daughter is thriving and healthy - those are the things I like to hear.

      32 weeks is a scary time to get going into labor because you know your baby will probably be okay but you can't be 100% sure.

      In hindsight, I wish we had delivered Nathan when I went into labor a week before his death. They were able to stop the labor and put me on hospital bed rest hoping to get me to at least 34 weeks. A week later a routine ultrasound showed that it was too late, he died.

      Then I had to endure a brutal c-section to give birth to a son that I knew had died but was hoping for a miracle anyway.

      It's been over two years and it's still traumatic.