The post I never thought I'd be writing (most recent update at bottom)

November 28th, 2014 - 11 DPO

I am pregnant.

It's the day after Thanksgiving. Once again, for no reason that I can pinpoint, I took a test. A gut feeling. 

It was a FRER and that pink test line was there. So light but, there. My first thought? Another chemical. That line is too light. 

My cousin had spent the night on Thanksgiving so I woke her up and called her in. "You see it, right?". Yes, she saw it.

Well, there is a way to tell if it's a super low beta again, I can take a digital. The two times I've had chemical pregnancies this year, I could never get a digital HPT to show positive.

Just as I thought, "not pregnant". From everything I read, most digitals require at least 50mIU/ml. 

I tell my cousin to not say anything, I know how this ends. I debate with myself whether or not to even tell James. He's at work and I'm at home but, in the end, I text him a picture of the positive test. 

So light that only b&w captures the test line.

November 29th, 2014 - 12 DPO

I take another FRER. I can't really tell if the line is any darker. I don't think it is. Or maybe a little. 

What the hell, let's take another digital.

Huh. Well, that's new.

11DPO v 12DPO

Oh. My. Gawd.

November 30th, 2014 - 13 DPO

I wake up early in the morning with a thought in my head. Haven't I read before that the CBE weeks estimator is actually quite sensitive (seeing as it calculated as early as 1-2 weeks)?

Maybe I should take a regular digital that is supposed to be not at all sensitive. 

Still positive! I'm allowing myself some hope here folks!

Okay, what if I take a different brand? Will a FRER digital still be positive? The answer is YES+ !

Could it be? Could it be?

YES+! YES+! YES+!

December 1st, 2014 - 14 DPO

I wake up confident and don't take a test.  I'm so happy and plan to call my doctor about starting Lovenox and getting a beta done. 

I take a digital and regular cheap test with me to work, just in case I need it to get through the day.

I don't even last the morning before I give in and take the cheap one. I don't like the look of the second line so I panic and worry. My anxiety is super high. 

New plan. 

I'm going to drink a load of water and then take that digital test. My urine will be super diluted and if it's positive after that maybe I can relax a little. 

I sat in the bathroom at work with my eyes closed and fingers crossed. Three minutes later, it's positive. 

In the evening we went to Target and filled the Lovenox prescription. I was petrified of giving myself this shot because I've heard so many horror stories.

My verdict? It wasn't a big deal at all. It did bleed but, wasn't painful at all. A small price to pay for a new life. 

I DO NOT like the look of that line. 

Okay, that's better.

December 2nd, 2014 - 15 DPO
AM POST
Well, I guess the cats out of the bag at work. I just wretched in front of five people and word will spread quickly. No one said anything to me but, if they did, I can hardly say "I think it's a stomach virus" or whatever because then I'll be told I should not be at work putting others at risk.

Today is beta day but, I won't have results until tomorrow. I'm still a bundle of nerves. Last night I took the CBE weeks estimator test again and it didn't move from 1-2 weeks to 2-3 weeks. I suppose I'm right on the cusp so I shouldn't be too worried. I'll take another one in a few days because I just have to see it move up.

I still fear a chemical pregnancy and Dr. Google isn't helping. I know that I should stay away from Dr. Google but, it's so hard.

I know there are many good signs (such as the nausea) but, it's a crap shoot. Pregnancy is so fragile. Early pregnancy in particular.

PM POST
The beta is done and I'll have the results tomorrow. But, in the mean time, I took another CBE weeks estimator. I figured today, or maybe tomorrow, it should flip from 1-2 to 2-3 and it did!

I did a little research on what the beta thresholds are to make it flip from each "category" and found this:

This test reads 1-2 weeks pregnant at a HCG of 10-157, this actually means 3-4 weeks.
A reading of 2-3 is a HCG of 156-2600, this is for women who are 4-5 weeks pregnant.
Finally, a reading of 3+ weeks is any results over 2600 and you would be 5+ weeks.

So, this is mean that when I get my results tomorrow, I can expect it to be at least 156. It will be interesting to see if that's accurate.

Nothing about this means I'm out of the woods. But, I feel like this just might end up okay. My gut is telling me to be excited. I hope my gut is right.

Day 2 of Lovenox was nothing. It didn't even bleed this time. I'm not sure why people make such a big deal out of them. Or maybe I'm an anomaly.

Hoorah!

December 3rd, 2014 - 16 DPO
Beta results were very good but a tad lower than I was expecting at 124 (progesterone 27). I was expecting it to be at least 156 based on the CBE weeks estimator test (see above graph).

Out of curiosity, I decided to take another test today to see if it still showed 2-3 and it did.

I know there is a margin of error and really, mine is quite close. So, I'm not worried. The beta tomorrow is the crucial one, it needs to have doubled.

So, another beta tomorrow (along with progesterone and TSH) then again next Monday and Thursday.

Fingers crossed that the numbers keep moving up!

Still on target

December 4th, 2014 - 17 DPO
AM
Today is round 2 and extremely crucial. I feel like I should be more nervous but, blood draw day doesn't make me all that anxious; it's results day that does that. And, results day won't be until tomorrow.

I admit I've been concerned that I've felt mostly okay so far. A bout of nausea here and there. This morning as soon as I woke up I felt a little bit of that. And, this morning at work, I got on the elevator and whoever was on it before me had marinated in perfume/cologne. I gagged a little but, I might have done that anyway!

(Seriously people, a little goes a long way.)

I want so much to tell you guys all about this but, I think it's best to wait until I get to the 6 weeks mark and see the heartbeat.

I don't know why I'm waiting because, no matter how this ends, I'll be sharing it with you guys.

I think I'm keeping it secret mainly because my blog is not anonymous. My friends & family read it and all my facebook friends have the link.

Two members of my family know (aunt & cousin) but, I'm not ready to have it out there for everyone quite yet.

PM
I did one more FRER just because I wanted to see the nice and dark test line. I am going to try very, very hard to stay away from testing until I get to the 5 weeks mark. At that point I'll take one more CBE weeks estimator to see it move from 2-3 to 3-4. Assuming todays beta results make that a possibility.

Nice and dark

December 5, 2014 18 DPO (Or is it?)
First off, the beta came in and it was great! More than doubled so we're off and running. So far, so good.

I remembered today that I did a manual override on Fertility Friend to make ovulation a day earlier than they had it listed as. I moved it to have ovulation the day of the peak reading on my fertility monitor but Fertility Friend had it the day after.

So, today could be 17 DPO which makes my beta numbers even better. But, since I've already labeled all the pregnancy tests, etc I'm going to stick with 18 DPO even though I could easily be 17 DPO.

I'll repeat the blood test on Monday and it should be about 1084. The doctor said once we get to 1000, we'll schedule an ultrasound to see if the fluttering heartbeat is there.

Fingers and toes both double crossed!

Above average!

December 7th, 2014 20 DPO
Yesterday I felt like things were right. I'm feeling fine. Tired but, fine. No nausea or anything like that. I started to have this deep gut feeling that my beta tomorrow would be bad news.'

Today the nausea returned at Target when I smelled coffee. Okay, this is a good sign and I feel better.

I hate having to wait 24 hours for my HCG results. I hate that Quest isn't like LabCorp where you got the results back the same day. I hate that our new insurance uses Quest instead of LabCorp.

But, this is the insurance that covers 4 IVF's. 4 IVF's I hoped I wouldn't need and now looks like I won't (knock on wood, fingers crossed, toss a pinch of salt over my shoulder).

I even allowed myself to look at strollers at Target today. I glanced at the baby clothes and smiled. I allowed myself to believe that this baby will be born in August and we'll be brining him or her home.

Incidentally, Ryan says it's a girl baby and her name is Sally.

December 9th, 2014 22 DPO
Next set of beta results are in and it went from 271 to 1938 for a doubling time of 33.8 hours.
I won't lie, this is amazing news. I was so nervous all day long.

Progesterone was up to 32.9 so that's still looking great, too.

And, I've graduated to 3+ weeks on the CBE Weeks Estimator HPT.

Ultrasound soon!

The trifecta!

December 14th, 2014 5W4D
No point is using DPO anymore, really.

My last beta was super duper (can't remember the exact number but, it's written down at work).
So, things are looking great.


December 17th, 2014 6W
The ultrasound went very well, the measurement was perfect.
Remember that it's still extremely early and anything can happen but, we're super optimistic.
As my doctor said, we're not out of the woods but, things are looking great.

I started chatting with a woman in the waiting room who has a son a year younger than Ryan and she's had two miscarriages since then, both at 8 weeks.
She was super nervous about her ultrasound today because she's nearly at 8 weeks and I felt her anxiety so much. I told her it would be okay but, those were just empty words.

I wish I would have stayed a little longer to see if her baby was okay. The chances of spontaneously running into her again are low. But, she's on my mind.

December 30th, 2014 7W6D
We have a heartbeat!

We have a wonderful, gorgeous and quite speedy heartbeat (178!). I cried tears of complete and utter joy!

No idea what I'm looking at other than it says the heartbeat is 178.57

________________________________________________________
How did I get here?

Well, the old fashioned way to be honest. However, I think a variety of factors helped. Most importantly (to my mind) was the diet, exercise, increasing my water intake and folic acid. 

That last one might sound strange but, this is how I came to the conclusion: when I was pregnant in October, before we knew it was a chemical, my OB told me to start taking 1600 mcg of folic acid in addition to my pre-natal vitamin. 

I kept with this regime even after I had the miscarriage. 

I started progesterone right after ovulation (will take it until about ten weeks my doctor said). I'm sure the progesterone played it's part, too.

I don't know if the Lovenox is sustaining this pregnancy but, my guess is that its definitely helping.