Monday, December 29, 2014

19 hours to go...

Tomorrow morning I have my next ultrasound. This one is super important because it will determine the viability of our seedling. 

Of course whatever we see, nothing is guaranteed but, if we have a strong heartbeat I feel like I can relax for a while. 

My husband is pretty confident and it helps a lot. In fact, so many people have told me they have a good feeling about this pregnancy. I'm hoping for the best tomorrow. 

I can't even discuss what my gut feeling is because my obstetric history is full of fail. Six pregnancies in five years (well, 4 really because we didn't manage to get pregnant at all in 2013) and one living child to show for it. 

So yes, I guess I just expect to hear the worst. 

I suppose that does sound very negative but, please understand, my history has conditioned me to be negative.

That's not something you can just shake off. 

Wish me luck!


  1. Good luck tomorrow. I understand about the conditioned to worry, that's fair. Hopefully this scan gives you nothing at all to worry about, and you can settle in to being pregnant a bit more securely!

  2. You're right, it's not something you can shake off. That's why you need to have supportive people around you. We will be positive for you. It's all just an emotional balancing act for you, at least it was for me. I wanted to be excited, but I didn't want to set myself up for hurt, pain and disappointment if the worst happened again. I get it.

  3. Crossing my fingers for you super hard! Cory has always been really confident in our pregnancy, and that's sometimes helpful and sometimes I just want to say "you have just as much of an idea as me, you can't be that confident!" even though the plus for him is that he doesn't have the whole hormone issue I have. :)