Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Freaking the f**ck out!

Where do I even begin?

1. I no longer have an OB.
The OB who delivered Ryan has retired from OB work. He's going to be doing GYN only going forward. This freaked me out enough to bring me to the brink of tears. This doctor saw me through 3 pregnancies and was well and truly upset when Nathan was stillborn. He wasn't there with me at the time because he was in the same hospital having emergency open heart surgery.

While he was recovering from that major event in his life, he got the news about Nathan and he called me from his own sick bed to tell me how sorry he was that he wasn't there for us.

I knew his retirement was probably coming after that, but, I was hoping to have him deliver one last baby of ours. Now, it's too late. I didn't get pregnant and his OB days are over. After what I've been through, I will find it hard to trust another doctor. I don't even know how to pick one. I don't want another one, I want him.

Yes, I realize I'm not even pregnant and this is all a moot point unless I become pregnant. Which may never happen since...

2. I no longer have an RE.
I've officially fired my RE's office. For one, their billing department is atrocious. The bad online reviews I read were almost exclusively about their poor billing department. At the time I thought, "who cares, they get me pregnant and we can sort out the  billing". Well, I'm not pregnant and the reviews were right, billing department is dreadful.

My insurance company has been trying to contact them for over a month. Last night they read off to me every attempt to contact them they've made. Even my insurance company can't figure out what the hell they're doing.

This morning, on a whim, I called myself and spoke with the billing department. She was rude and called my insurance company liars. She said they haven't been calling her. I got frustrated and told her she'll be getting a call from them today and I needed her to answer the phone.

Her response? "I don't sit by my phone all day. I can't guarantee I'll answer when they call." The woman was full of attitude our entire conversation.

On top of that, last month they sent all my blood work to LabCorp instead of Quest which means I have to pay 100% out-of-pocket for it because my insurance doesn't have an agreement with LabCorp.

When you're getting blood work done almost every other day, you can imagine how quickly that adds up. I now owe LabCorp hundreds of dollars which we, obviously, didn't budget for.

Also, at that last IUI, my husband refused to pay the $250 for the sperm wash until they sorted out the billing. We can expect that bill to come in the mail soon and as far as I'm concerned, they can wait forever for it.

Their in-house lab doesn't participate in any insurance. So, anything you do there like sperm wash for IUI,  ICSI, Assisted Hatching (which I was planning to do since insurance will pay for it) and PGD have to be paid out-of-pocket.

The office itself is in-network but their lab isn't. What good is that?!

So, I'm done with them.

3. Despite doing everything right, I've gained weight.
I stepped on the scale three different days and it's not budging either. I am up four pounds from my weigh-in Friday. WTF?!

I know I shouldn't be weighing myself every day but this current situation is upsetting me. I'm staying off until Friday and recording whatever weight is there, even if it's a higher weight.

I can't even begin to understand what's going on. Stress?

I will not fall apart. I will not fall apart. I will not fall apart.


  1. That is awful about the billing. The doctor I'm thinking of changing to also has horrible reviews about their billing, and I'm scared. My old clinic might treat us like cattle, but they've been pretty good on the billing front.

    1. My advice would be stay away from a place that has bad billing reviews. I didn't and now I regret it.

      I'm following along with what's going on with you and keeping my fingers crossed, too.

  2. 1. I'm sorry that your OB retired! Maybe he has a referral for you???
    2. Good for you for firing your RE. And that woman in billing needs someone to tell her that the people she's being rude with are actually paying her salary, so she should treat everyone better.
    3. I think with the stress of #1 and #2, it makes sense that you're not seeing the results you want on the scale. Stress hormones definitely have an impact on weight loss.

    1. I'm seeing my OB next week for my annual GYN appointment and I'm going to ask him who he recommends.
      Honestly, there is a part of me that's glad I now won't have to deliver another baby in the hospital where Nathan died. I never want to be there again but my OB only delivered there. This is a chance for me to be able to use a hospital that doesn't hold bad memories and is closer to our new home. I will just have to find a doctor I can trust when I do finally get pregnant.

      As for the RE, I'm so mad I can't even talk about it any further. My husband intends to have a word with them when we get our medical records from them for a new RE. It won't be pretty.

      The weight. Ugh.
      Let's just hope I see progress on Friday.

      Thanks for your continued support, Brianna. You're always there for me with kind words and I appreciate it.

  3. Wow, sounds like a heck of a week for you. Sorry that your OB is retiring, but perhaps this will give you a fresh start in a way. I really hope you'll find someone you will feel comfortable with and trust.

    And well done indeed for giving the boot to your RE clinic, they sound pretty horrendous. I strongly feel like the person in the billing department should be sacked. As Brianna said, you are the paying customer after all!! A bit of customer service skills wouldn't have gone amiss.

    I wouldn't worry too much about the weight loss hiatus. Often after a period of rapid weight loss, it slows down somewhat. Just don't lose heart, if you keep at it the weight will come off, it just mightn't happen in as dramatic a fashion as it did in the beginning.

    Sending you many virtual hugs. You're doing great!!x

    1. Thanks Haisla, you're awesome.

      It's time for new beginnings so it's best all the way around.

  4. Eek, what a huge bunch of stress piled on top of itself! Don't worry about the weight loss - weight can fluctuate 5 pounds one way or the other really easily. It's not a bad thing. And good on you for firing your RE! I hope you write to them and tell them why. :)

    1. Thanks, Megan. The weight thing is frustrating but I keep telling myself that as long as I know I'm working hard and eating right, the number isn't all that important.

      As for my old RE, I think my husband intends to pass along a few words. He's pretty angry.

  5. They sound dreadful. You've done the right thing. Sorry to hear about your OB, it's really difficult when you lose any professional who has really been there for you. And like the other commenters said, weight can be up and down. Or static, in my case. And don't forget muscle weighs more than fat so that can be involved too. But the important thing is don't let it set you back. You got this!