How things can change in one day

As you know, yesterday I was feeling rather despondent about all the things going on at once. Honestly, it was enough to make me wonder if I should throw in the towel on everything. The dieting, another baby... everything.

But, I picked myself up pretty quickly and took action.

Here is my update:

1. I no longer have an OB.
I'm still very disappointed about this one. I've gone through 2 c-sections and I want the best doing my third one when the times comes. And, he's the best.

But, there is a silver lining. He only delivers at the hospital where Nathan died and while I won't get into the entire story (the ending is all that matters), that hospital can never hold anything but nervousness and anxiety for me now.

Ryan was born at that hospital as well as my cousin and probably most of Ryan's friends. It's an excellent hospital with top notch facilities. It's where I lost my son, though.

So, a new OB that's closer to home means that when the time comes, I can deliver at a different hospital.

I'm going in for my annual GYN exam next week and I'm going to ask him who he recommends. I trust him to hand me off to someone great.

2. I no longer have an RE.
As of October 17th, that will hopefully change; I've made an appointment with Shady Grove Fertility.

When I called to make the appointment the woman I spoke with put me at ease from the start. First, her accent sounded like my husbands so I assumed she was English (South African as it turns out. Doh!) but, it was comforting. It kind of felt like I was just having a chat with his mum and it felt comfortable and reassuring.

I explained the hassle I had just gone through with my old RE and she was so sympathetic and encouraging. Honestly, that mattered to me.

I won't know yet whether or not they will accept me as a patient. It's not like my old clinic who would basically take anyone who walked through the door and had money to pay.

When I explained my situation and gave her my numbers she said she was sure I would be taken on as a patient.

Call me crazy but, I'm tossing around the idea of giving the new clinic one shot at IUI. I still have three left that my insurance will pay for and IUI might be a good way to get a feel for the new clinic, their procedures and staff before trusting them with IVF.

Opinions?

3. Despite doing everything right, I've gained weight.
This still holds true. But, I believe in what Megan and my husband have both said; weight fluctuates. Particularly for women and where they are in their cycle.

I believe I'm doing the right things to lose weight and I know the scale will reflect that eventually. Meanwhile, as soon as I'm done with this post, I intend to google "does your weight increase close to ovulation?". ;-)

I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing because I know it's the right thing. I won't obsess over the scale (I have a friend who swears she can retain several pounds of water weight at any given time).

And, lastly.
I got a positive OPK this morning (CD 12). I was on fertility meds for so long, I wasn't sure what to expect this cycle.

CD 12 is about right on target for me so, as usual, my body is doing everything it's supposed to do, when it's supposed to do it, except for becoming pregnant.

I'm still hoping for my miracle before the end of the year so we're getting down to business in the BD department.

We're in it to win it!