Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How things can change in one day

As you know, yesterday I was feeling rather despondent about all the things going on at once. Honestly, it was enough to make me wonder if I should throw in the towel on everything. The dieting, another baby... everything.

But, I picked myself up pretty quickly and took action.

Here is my update:

1. I no longer have an OB.
I'm still very disappointed about this one. I've gone through 2 c-sections and I want the best doing my third one when the times comes. And, he's the best.

But, there is a silver lining. He only delivers at the hospital where Nathan died and while I won't get into the entire story (the ending is all that matters), that hospital can never hold anything but nervousness and anxiety for me now.

Ryan was born at that hospital as well as my cousin and probably most of Ryan's friends. It's an excellent hospital with top notch facilities. It's where I lost my son, though.

So, a new OB that's closer to home means that when the time comes, I can deliver at a different hospital.

I'm going in for my annual GYN exam next week and I'm going to ask him who he recommends. I trust him to hand me off to someone great.

2. I no longer have an RE.
As of October 17th, that will hopefully change; I've made an appointment with Shady Grove Fertility.

When I called to make the appointment the woman I spoke with put me at ease from the start. First, her accent sounded like my husbands so I assumed she was English (South African as it turns out. Doh!) but, it was comforting. It kind of felt like I was just having a chat with his mum and it felt comfortable and reassuring.

I explained the hassle I had just gone through with my old RE and she was so sympathetic and encouraging. Honestly, that mattered to me.

I won't know yet whether or not they will accept me as a patient. It's not like my old clinic who would basically take anyone who walked through the door and had money to pay.

When I explained my situation and gave her my numbers she said she was sure I would be taken on as a patient.

Call me crazy but, I'm tossing around the idea of giving the new clinic one shot at IUI. I still have three left that my insurance will pay for and IUI might be a good way to get a feel for the new clinic, their procedures and staff before trusting them with IVF.


3. Despite doing everything right, I've gained weight.
This still holds true. But, I believe in what Megan and my husband have both said; weight fluctuates. Particularly for women and where they are in their cycle.

I believe I'm doing the right things to lose weight and I know the scale will reflect that eventually. Meanwhile, as soon as I'm done with this post, I intend to google "does your weight increase close to ovulation?". ;-)

I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing because I know it's the right thing. I won't obsess over the scale (I have a friend who swears she can retain several pounds of water weight at any given time).

And, lastly.
I got a positive OPK this morning (CD 12). I was on fertility meds for so long, I wasn't sure what to expect this cycle.

CD 12 is about right on target for me so, as usual, my body is doing everything it's supposed to do, when it's supposed to do it, except for becoming pregnant.

I'm still hoping for my miracle before the end of the year so we're getting down to business in the BD department.

We're in it to win it!


  1. If it's covered and you can take it emotionally, an IUI can't hurt right? I view them as a waste of time at this point for me, but you have to make your own decision.

    1. I think it's probably a waste of time for me, too. Maybe. I don't know.
      But yes, my insurance pays for it and I feel like it will be a good way of getting to know SG.

      I can't think of anything I have to lose other than one more month of not being pregnant.

  2. 1. Hopefully you get a GREAT recommendation!

    2. So happy that you had a good first experience with the new clinic. Fingers crossed that there are no obstacles to you becoming a patient there. As for whether or not to do an IUI, I think it's a coin toss. At my clinic, during an IUI I did see the docs for u/s and labs, for IVF, there are other staff members that would need to be worked with (that I never met), so it may give you a good idea of what the doctors' bedside manners are, but you might not get the full picture of everyone you'd be working with during IVF.

    3. I think it makes sense that you might be gaining weight around ovulation, but definitely something to look into so that, if it is the case, you can save yourself some frustration in future months...unless you get pregnant, then you'll be putting those weight loss plans on hold :)

    1. Thanks, Brianna.

      I'll know more once I meet with them next month. I could have gotten an earlier appointment but I was in no rush since we know we're not ready to get started until January. Now, I wish I had taken an earlier appointment!

      Ah well, good to let it go for a bit and just focus on fun stuff.

  3. I definitely gain weight around ov time! So you may well too. I feel bigger and get bloated - so don't let it set you back.
    IUI - I would go for it, especially if you have 3 left and you're not planning on IVF until Jan - I know you have a lot of faith in it and hey, it would help you get to know them, and they you!

  4. Yay, what a difference a few hours can make, eh? :) I think if you want to see the new clinic with an IUI, if it's free to you and it's important for you to take time to establish a more personal relationship with the clinic, then go for it! You're right, it's just a month of waiting if it doesn't work. I switched clinics too, though there was 3 years of waiting between, and I'm glad I did!

  5. I fired my RE back in January and it was one of the best decisions I ever made! I LOVE my new RE and feel so much more at ease with him. Sometimes we have to trust our instincts and it sounds like yours are guiding you to a good place. Best of luck. Just stopping by from ICLW.