Friday, August 8, 2014

The official results

No surprise since I took a test yesterday but this month is a failed cycle.

Surprisingly, I didn't take it very hard. I suppose that's because I already knew, the blood test was just a formality.

However, I did think this month was our best shot yet because the timing just felt so much more compatible (if that makes sense).

I'm not sure where we'll go from here. James and I discussed it a bit a couple days ago and we'll have to circle back to that conversation over the weekend.

As I'm sure you recall, I was thinking of taking a month (or two) break. Now, that we're here with the results in hand (so to speak) that decision feels different.

Not wrong, though. Just, a little less emphatic.

So we'll do something thinking and some talking.

One thing I can take away from this month is taking an HPT beforehand did lessen the anxiety of blood draw day. I wasn't on tenterhooks all day waiting for the phone to ring.

My dear friend took me out to lunch and I barely thought about it until the call came.

This might also be the effect of it being my wedding anniversary and I just feel so happy today.

I want to add (and I've said this before) that the people following my journey are amazing! I have dozens and dozens (and sometimes more) that read every post and I'm blown away by that.
Some are friends and family I know IRL but most are ladies who are going through the same struggles trying to get their baby.

And, I've said this before, too; the stories people are telling me privately away from this message board are incredible. I'm so honored that you share with me. Most all of them are heartbreaking but, ultimately, triumphant. You (along with my family and friends) give me the strength to continue.

I have to accept that someone has to be last and that might just end up being me. That doesn't mean I'm not excited about your success stories. Every single one gives me hope.

Today I am happy despite the result. How can I not be when I'm surrounded by so much love and encouragement!

Have a great weekend everyone!

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