Truly amazing friends

This morning I came to work wound so tight you could bounce me off a wall.

Again, these medications I take totally messes with my head and body. Having to inject myself with the pregnancy hormone (trigger shot) is just plain cruel.

First off, when I am actually pregnant, I vomit. Any slightly odd smell sends me to the toilet. So injecting myself with HCG gives me all the symptoms with none of the happy offset (like, carrying my baby).

This morning on the way to work we drove past a dead skunk. I thought I was going to vomit right there in the minivan.

So, needless to say, by the time I got to work I was extremely anxious and feeling annoyed at the world (thank you hormone altering meds!).

A co-worker stopped by to say hello and we got to talking about how I was so obviously not myself. He was super and talked me through it so nicely. He helped to calm me down and get my mind off of it by making me laugh.

Then, another co-worker stopped by to show me she wore a energy bracelet in my honor today. That was so sweet I wanted to kiss her. I nearly cried at the kind gesture (hormones strike again).

And then... Felicia. My wonderful friend and co-worker came over to me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead, told me she loved me and said that this is my month.

I can now honestly say that I am walking into my IUI today with a better attitude than I expected when I woke up this morning.

Those three people, Stephen, Brittany and Felicia made my day today.
But, many others also do that on a near daily basis.

The support and love from you guys is amazing so I want to acknowledge you now.

Always topping the list is my husband, James and son, Ryan. They are the ones who have to put up with the wild mood swings more often than anyone else.

Felicia- Deserves to be acknowledged twice. She puts up with my horrible habit of half listening (I'm trying to do better) and makes every single work day better.

Jen M.- The friend who was brave enough to give me a shot in the ass at work. You were my number one choice because I knew you'd be able to get it done.

Jen S.- Thanks for giving me support from afar and checking in on me by text so often.

Aunt Maggie- For helping to keep my feet on the ground. You're the best advice giver in the entire world.

Fiona- Just because I love you and talking to you forces me to set aside my own issues and focus on my favorite cousin for a while.

Paul- You drive me bonkers but you also make me laugh. And, you've taken away some of my stresses by putting them on yourself. Please know that while I don't always show it, I do appreciate what you do for my family.

My blogger friends:
TTC In My 40's
Haisla
Just T
Megan
Lab Monkey
Brianna
MLACS
Stephanie (Her YouTube videos make me laugh so much so I watch them over and over when I need cheering up. Seriously, check her out)

Facebook friends, I didn't realize so many were following along! There are too many to name but thank for the messages of support. I know people like to keep their own experiences private so the fact that you message me and tell me your stories gives me inspiration.

I'm sure I missed people but I'm sending a huge thanks to everyone who has found a way to make me smile in the last five months! That deserves huge kudos!

Alright, let's do this!
TEAM MAY BABY!

Glamorous? I don't think so!

Ultrasound today

CD 5

3 days of injections: Gonal-F 112.5 (increase from 100 last month)

Right ovary = 3 follies total - 2 x 10mm, 1 less than 10mm

Left ovary = 2 follies total - both less than 10mm

Lining = perfect (I didn't ask for number)

I'll get a call this afternoon with the estradiol results which will tell us if I should continue on 112.5 dose or dial it back to 100 since I appear to be responding a bit quickly. 

I take all the numbers this early with a grain of salt because last month on CD 6 I had 7 follies and ended up with only 1 mature. 

What's interesting this month is that the right side seems to be responding better than the left. That's never happened to me before. 

I have to return Monday morning so they can check again. Since I'm on a rather high dose of Gonal-F (for an IUI cycle, at least) they're going to be checking me a lot more often.

It's weird because now that we've decided to move on to IVF, this cycle feels perfunctory. It's like I'm not really expecting any results from it so just going through the motions so that we can start the process of preparing ourselves for moving on. 

I feel like I have nothing vested in this cycle; I'm not feeling hopeful or hopeless. In my head, we've already moved on.

Probably not a good attitude to have and my dearest friend Felicia will get on me when she reads this. She's always reminding me to "think positive". 

But, maybe it's better this way. Let the course run and what happens, happens. At least I know I'm not likely to get super anxious this time around. 

Notice Olivia Wilde on Glamour magazine in the background. There is nothing glamorous going on in that room, with that machine!

Update: Estradiol 119
Sticking with current 112.5 Gonal-F protocol.