A letter to my children

Dear Ryan & Hannah,
You have changed our lives, for the better and, forever.

You are both so beautiful that, at times, I'm shocked you're mine. I have to pinch myself that it's all real. But, you are mine... ours! We get the distinct honor and privilege of being your mom and dad.

Sometime we'll get things wrong. Sometimes a little wrong, sometimes hugely wrong. Your mom and dad are human and we will make mistakes. When we do get it wrong, try to remember that everything we do is out of love and concern for you and also that we do mostly get it right.

We have so many hopes and dreams for your future but, one of the big ones is that you remain close throughout your life. That you will love and protect each other as best you can.

You might have noticed that daddy has a different accent. You'll learn all about his home country, England, as you get older and I want you to be proud of that part of your ancestry. I want you to be proud to be half English. One day soon we'll take you back there and I know you'll fall in love with England.

But, I want you to be a proud American, too.

As you get older, we'll tell you a little more about the brother you never got to meet. You'll likely never feel the bond towards Nathan the way daddy and I do. And that's okay. But, we want you to know he was an important part of our lives and changed mommy and daddy.

You see, we might be a bit more protective of you and it might make you annoyed at times. We lost a child and it changed us.

I will always have to remind myself to not be a helicopter parent. I'll always want to hover in the background waiting just in case you stumble. I promise to do my best to back off but, forgive me if I find that hard to do. I'm already cringing at the idea of handing over car keys and letting you drive off alone for the first time.

(Warning: I might be hiding in the trunk)

Most of all, we promise to love you and offer all the support possible.

Love,
Mommy