Another milestone to tick off not to mention 60% of the way to the finish line.
Today I woke up early so I could lay in the bath quietly with my eyes closed and feel baby girl moving around.
As a full time working mom, I get very little time alone. So, I like to get up super early sometimes just to spend quiet time with my daughter.
I feel her every day throughout the entire day but, I'm usually too busy to really take it in. The back of my head registers that she's moving around but, I don't get the chance to just relax and really experience it as it's happening. Her movements are so important to me and I want to be able to enjoy every wiggle and every kick.
On another subject...
Yesterday at T-ball practice I got to talking to one of the other moms. She was asking me about this pregnancy and Ryan's and the conversation lead to me saying that no, this was actually my third.
I told her a little about Nathan and she then told me that she just lost a pregnancy this past December at 22 weeks.
The conversation became a lot less awkward then because I felt like at that point, we understood each other and there was no need for any discomfort over the subject.
We exchanged experiences and feelings and all-in-all it was a good conversation (given where we were and the circumstances).
She intends to try for another but, is nervous about it. We talked a bit about how that wonderful blissfulness of being naive is gone forever. Every mom who has suffered a stillbirth will tell you that, too.
With that being said, I told her that every week that passes by I feel more and more confident. I can't say I am where I was with Ryan (or even Nathan) this far along but, I'm feeling good about this baby girl.
That's the best I can say because, probably insanely, I'm still afraid of jinxing it.
I'm so glad you took the brave step of sharing about Nathan and were met with compassionate understanding!! And 'yay' for reaching medical viability!! May your pregnancy continue with firm uneventfulness.xx
ReplyDeleteIt was difficult enough losing a baby between 8 and 9 weeks - I can't even begin to imagine how painful it is to go through a later-term miscarriage.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on reaching an important milestone - and for making a new friend who understands what you've been through.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
DeleteMy son died at 32 weeks so he was considered stillborn. Worst experience of our lives but, we live on to tell his story and, if all goes well, bring our daughter into the world.