Tuesday, June 24, 2014

A lucky grape

At work today I had a bag of grapes and shared them with two co-workers.
One of the ladies (one I don't know very well) ended up with what can only be described as a mutant grape, it was like a conjoined triplet grape.

She showed it to the other co-worker (with whom I am very friendly and knows my infertility struggles very well) and she decided it was a lucky grape and it should be given to me.

I took this lucky grape back to my desk and ate my lunch, deciding the lucky grape had to be saved for very last.
I have to say, it was horrible. It tasted extremely sour and I nearly spit it out. However, it's a lucky grape and I stuck it out to the final bitter swallow (the rest of the bunch were fine).

Here's hoping it was worth the effort!

In other news, I had a pity party for a while today. Sitting in a meeting I looked over and noticed that another co-worker I haven't seen in a while had a noticeable baby bump.
She has a daughter younger than my son and is now well on her way to her second. 

Of course this brought out the worst voices in my head - "everyone but me" and "why the hell can't I be walking around with a baby bump" and of course the very pitiful "it's not fair".

Then, as fate would have it, I saw this on facebook:
Well then. 
It's true. I'm hardly alone in this struggle and so far, haven't even had to endure the worst it has to offer. 

I think I was pretty damn strong when we lost Nathan - I held it together better than most women could (after a complicated c-section to boot). If I can keep my chin up and stay strong after the loss of a beloved son, I can damn well do it while waiting for our next baby.

You're my bitch and I own you.


  1. That lucky grape story had me smiling, especially the fact that you ate it until the bitter, sour end!

    I think we all have our own pity parties now and then and the fact that you were able to realize it was happening, pick yourself up and move on with it is really commendable. There is nothing easy about any of this and seeing others' apparent ease at achieving the very thing we are fighting so very hard for is heart wrenching and very, very trying. All the best as you move forward ... and fingers crossed that the lucky grape worked its magic!

  2. Today was my IUI day so we'll know soon if the lucky grape worked!
    Thanks for your encouragement!