Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Planning a wedding is stressful even in the best circumstances and I'd say I'm dealing with the best circumstances. James hasn't put many restrictions on me and even things he's been doubtful about, he's acquiesced when he's seen that it's important to me (my wedding band from Tiffany's is a good example of this).

Now I realize all the build-up to the wedding is causing me a small break down. I'm not taking care of myself in any shape or form and it's taking its' toll on me. I'm tired pretty much 24/7 and I'm anemic again. Ugh.

I'm loving the idea of our big day but I'm so ready for it to be here so we can get on with married life. Our engagement has lasted well over a year and the constant waiting has been incredibly difficult.

And now we're less than two weeks away from his landing for the final time and I'm doing what I always do when I have an important date looming, I'm letting myself go to hell.

It would probably take a team of therapists to dissect that but there we have it. And I'm fully aware of what I'm doing and yet can't seem to stop it.

I like routine, I thrive on it. I hate waiting, I'm terrible at it. Not enough routine and too much waiting is my life right now.

James with his infinite patience is something I can (and hope to) learn from.

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