19w1d

My online BFF Christy sent me this article yesterday about how it's hard to accept the happiness of a current pregnancy when you're stuck in the past of failed pregnancies.

This article hit the nail on the head for me. I have said several times that the excitement of seeing your baby alive on the ultrasound lasts, for me, about a day. Then I'm back to worry and dread.

Today was ultrasound day so, I'm feeling excited and hopeful. Today, I know baby girl will be here in July/August.

Tomorrow? Who knows what I'll feel. I've made it this far and that's pretty damn awesome.

Her heartbeat was 140 and I'm down 2 lbs since my first appointment. That was a surprise to me because I feel like I've been eating a ton of food. The doctor was completely unconcerned with my weight loss because, I can stand to lose weight anyway and, as she said, at where I was pre-pregnancy, if I were to maintain the weight, that would be just fine and dandy.

I have no expectations of not gaining weight by 38/39 weeks (expected c-section time frame). Sure, good in theory but, I know me. If I can not gain more than 15, I'll be thrilled and call that a success (I gained 40+ with Ryan and about 10 with Nathan by 32 weeks).

Anatomy scan is in two weeks with my MFM doctor and, of course, hoping for everything to go well there.

My OB is moving up my gestational diabetes test to 23 weeks. Not because they have any specific concerns, but people who are overweight have a higher risk so they like to intervene earlier if it comes back positive.

My old OB let me take the drink home and down it one hour before my appointment but, this practice requires you come in, get the drink and sit around and wait the hour.

Assuming I pass, I'll still have to do another one a month later at 27 weeks which is the usual time they do the GD test on pregnant women.

As I was leaving my appointment today, the doctor hugged me and kissed my head. It was incredibly sweet but then again, she had just called my overweight! :)

Today is a good day.