Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ten pieces of random advice as provided by: A Middle-Aged Geeky Mad Man (AKA Ed)

1. Always double-check a name before you put it in print. It could really make your job complicated if it's wrong - and your bosses angry.

2. If you are forced to watch an LA Galaxy game on TV, drink every time Landon Donovan complains to the ref. You'll be passed out by the 44th minute, and then you don't have to watch the rest of the game.

3. Never go swimming with bow-legged women. I admit, I don't even know what the hell this means. But everyone where I grew up used to say it as a joke (I think). It must mean something - but I haven't the foggiest what. But, since everyone used to say it, it has to be important to our nation's well-being.

4. Don't complain about $4/gallon gas if you go to Starbucks every day.
Think about it, you are paying $4 for a double latte caffe doohickey of death, every morning, which probably runs 16 ounces. So, you're paying $16/gallon for coffee! Gas is a bargain.

5. When on a crowded MARC train, and there are no seats for ladies, get the bleep out of your seat and let the lady sit down.

6. When someone stops you to ask directions, throw a curve ball every once in a while and send them to Lynchburg. You'll get a kick out of it and the city could use the tourism dollars. I think their baseball stadium still has a hot tub.

7. On the interstate, don't pull up behind me and get right on my car's ass and flick your lights. I'm not going to get out of your way, and you are making your headlights die quicker.

8. When a person says to you, "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you," kick them in the nuts and run. That way, you don't get hurt at all, and the other person was right.

8a. Note: If it's a girl that says it to you, you're pretty much dead.

9. Don't agree to write a piece containing 10 pieces of advice for random people when you can only think of 9.

10. Remember, she's right. Even when she's wrong. She's right.

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